If you are reading this, we may have some things in common dear reader. Are you:
Single
Looking
Hoping
and lastly … on some dating applications or find your match websites?
Facebook dating app
I am shy in this moment of admittance. I am all of the above… the shyness comes in when I admit part of my search has taken place via a FaceBook dating app. This very practical approach to a romantic endeavour seems incongruent somehow, and yet, the possibility of meeting someone grows exponentially when we are exposed to multiple potential partners who may just be our match.
Tolerance
I have had brief stints on these search sites. Three days seems to be my maxed out tolerance level, and this is why: someone likes you and a heart appears with their profile. In a brief glance, you, as receiver of sent hearts, can refuse with an X and no thank-you… reminds me of grade school valentines days. I hated those so much, because not getting a heart, breaks the heart. So many broken hearts dear reader, makes mine break too… we are created for relationship, and being told no takes a toll. Will you be mine is a sweet request, a tender attempt at try-again-with-someone-new: the vulnerability is high, while the reward may simply, not come to pass.
Pleasure and Pain
The pleasure part of this plan is meeting people, socializing and getting to know a variety of personalities. Again, it feels very much like grade school, where the boys and girls are separated and standing on opposite sides of the gymnasium, picking one another, with the question, would you like to dance with me? We can start out playful with some light flirtation and maybe, a slow song will come on, and I can draw you near? Intimacy, that is the ultimate goal for the dancers. Being asked to dance, being able to say yes, to say maybe, to say no… it is an ancient ritual in a modern world. Yes feels great, maybe feels hopeful and slightly on the edge of rejection and no, well, that can be stingy.
Hiatus
After a hiatus, I had yet another urge dear one, to try my hand at finding my mate. I really want my next forever, and this time, before starting the process, I had great clarity:
I stated who I am
What is important to me
My priorities
What my match would be like
And I asked… please do not be offended if I do not reply (we cannot be everyone’s match!)
I set parameters for myself, because while romance is a wonder, it wears off quickly when it is the initial focus in meeting someone new. The person I pick must fit seamlessly into my life, and me into theirs. This said, having similarities is essential-too many differences eventually divide. That is a road I will never travel again!
My experience this time around
I must tell you dear reader, that this most recent attempt at meeting my mate has been so very lovely. I have met passionate, kind hearted, real men, who want relationship. The honest approach of a clear yes or no makes the process almost pain free, because let us face the facts, some relationships are doomed before they start, so why start? Hope happens when alignment with Gods will is clear and one of the ways, as a Christian woman in a secular dating world, can determine whether alignment is occurring, is behaviour: behaviour never lies
Pimping themselves out
I labelled this piece of writing Predator or Protector for good reason. It is a sexually voracious environment that we live in. Adultery, gender confusion; promiscuity; vulgar and obscene pictures and videos posted by everyday people; child pornography and salacious posing, has everyone pimping themselves out for the popular count. Bodies smashing into each other with no regard for ultimate impact in emotional, spiritual, psychological, and physical realms, puts many in jeopardy: families are being devastated with children victimized by self-absorbed and self-indulgent adults who are supposed to parent them, modelling dignity and self-respect. How one behaves, indicates what they think of themselves and who they are willing to be out in the world: again, behaviour never lies
Well designed males
Back to the title. I have met predators and to my delight, I have met protectors. Women are vulnerable, by virtue of our differences from the amazingly well designed males that God so handily crafted! I like the differences, I revel in them, and it pleases me to no end, to see men putting the safety of women first, before their burning desire. Dear reader, prior to labeling me one-sided, I state here, that women are gorgeous and wonderful too, especially when they appreciate their own feminine beauty, and understand that their worth is noticed in the waiting, not in the giving of self and body away. Women, from what I have learned, are very much predatory too. All I can say at this point, is YIKES!
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| Will you give me your heart? |
Next
Next for me is pure excitement. I am being engaged intellectually and spiritually and to cycle back to the top of this writing piece, I am grateful for the dating sites and apps, because I am hopeful that my looking will result in my single status turning into my hearts desire, a match made in heaven.
I pray the same for you, dear reader: a God designed and orchestrated, match made in heaven.
