The way in which something operates or works
I have a modus operandi dear reader and so, do you. I will state mine first, while you consider yours.
A driving desire to understand people
I have a driving desire to understand people. I want to know how they think; why they think that way; what moves them in the directions they travel, and what breaks their heart for themselves and for others. You and I know there is pain in there somewhere and this is the exciting news, at least for me. There is pain in there somewhere! And I like to find it: I am a pain hunter.
Call me meddlesome if you must
As a feelings detective, I search around in the hearts and minds of the people I meet, looking for joy. When I cannot detect it, I know that there is a hinderance, a blockage, a love flow clog in their spirit, and this simply will not do. It may be a condition they are accustomed to, but it is not one that I am comfortable with. Call me meddlesome if you must, but I am compelled to go into the fray with a person who is suffering solo, when the opportunity presents itself. Here is what I know and have recently had simply and beautifully framed for me from a book I am reading called Understanding People by Lawrence J.Crabb, Jr.
People suffer from:
 |
| Pain is intense when suffered solo |
1. Relational pain
2. Self-protective patterns of relating
How much more succinct must we get dear reader? When we are in pain, it is because we do not feel understood or as we long to be understood. Turn this spinning arrow round and round and it will land pointing at you… sometimes you don’t understand nor do you want to understand the people in your life. To simply not relate is far easier than the alternative. Running away from the pain of misunderstanding is a relief, temporarily. Learning patterns of healthy relating requires work and risk; after all, you may still be misunderstood and all alone, even after the effort, leading you to believe all relating is a waste of valuable time and perhaps, tears?
“So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ , not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:16-20).
Christ’s ambassadors
When we are reconciled to God, we stop seeing our own hurt as a reason to protect ourselves; as a reason to break off relations with others. We start to see ourselves as forgivably flawed humans in need of understanding, coupled with multiple chances to learn better communication skills. In this way, we can become Christ’s ambassadors. I appeal to you now, on God’s behalf, to reconcile your relationship pain and begin the work of understanding or correcting, self-protective patterns of relating.
Now, I have shared my modus operandi with you: Your turn. What is your M.O?
What do you think?
Why do you think that way?
What moves you in the directions you travel?
What breaks your heart?
What relationship do you need to understand and reconcile?
Start your relational homework today; it may save you a whole lot of heartache not far down the road.
